WTF?

I'm baffled. Completely befuddled.

How do people do it?

No matter what my DH and I do, no matter how hard we work (and man, do we work hard), we just never seem to be able to get ahead.

We're no better off now than we were 10 years ago.

Ok, well, that's not totally true, but it sure feels like it!

When we bought our first home in '96, it was with the intent to fix it up, live there for a few years, then sell it and move to the country; keeping the original house and turning it in to an office for his business.

Well, we're on the right track being in the midst of renovations that, when completed, will modernize a 60+ year old house to today's standards in terms of "smart wiring" for electricity, cable, internet & telephone.

However, even with that in mind, without selling the current house, there is no way we can afford to move, so we're stuck still.

Don't get me wrong. I love my house...I just abhor the location. If I could pick that house up and move it just about anywhere, I would (with a few minor changes!).

We have friends who are in their second or third home since we've been married. Each one progressively bigger and better than the last. Are they in debt up to their eyeballs and just really good at hiding it? I don't know...

I just don't get it. If someone knows the secret, please, enlighten me!

Am I a bad wife?

As my 10th wedding anniversary draws near, I wonder, "Am I a bad wife?"

My DH, bless him, takes care of 99% of the house work. I couldn't tell you the last time I did a load of laundry. I emptied the dishwasher last week and loaded it up again...first time I've done that in recent memory. We have a lady come in every second Wednesday to vacuum and dust (I have allergies & asthma and can't be in the house when that's being done, so she comes in the morning on a week day).

Our Christmas tree is still up!! It's nearly the first of March and our damn tree is still up and decorated! How pathetic is that? Pretty soon, I can stop being embarrassed that it's STILL up and brag about how early I got it up for Christmas this year!

One of our dogs just had major surgery and in the three days that she's been home, I've only hot packed her sutures 3 times (out of a possible 9-15), given her her meds 4 times (out of a possible 12).

Sounds pretty bad, doesn't it?

Now consider...

Since early December, I have been working 60+ hours a week (the last four weeks have been 70+). I am so freaking tired. All I feel like I do is get up in the morning, go to work in the dark, come home at night in the dark, eat something out of necessity that I have no recollection of 5 minutes later, try to unwind for half an hour doing something mindless, fall into bed, lather, rinse and repeat...day after day.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't dream of working the hours I have been - even I think it's beyond ridiculous. I'm a contract worker, so I only get paid if I work. I don't take vacations for the same reason (last "vacation" was in 2003!). I'm having surgery later this spring and will require minimum 4 weeks off of work to recover. That's 4 weeks without pay. That's a substantial chunk of change for me. I have put off this surgery for years because of excuses like I can't afford the time off work. Things are finally falling in to place where I can now feel like I CAN take the time to do something that needed to be done years ago. I'm putting money away now to help carry through that time, there are people in the office that can take over some of the work I do while I'm away, so I don't have to feel completely guilty about leaving for that long.

Marriage is supposed to be "give and take", but lately it seems I'm doing all the taking and not very much of the giving in terms of the daily running of the household, but I don't know how to change it. It's so bad that he called me an "ungrateful bitch" last night. *sigh*

There is nothing I would love more than to stay home and take care of the house and him, but based on our current situation, that will never happen, and so it's "I owe, I owe, so off to work I go".

If anyone out there ever runs into my doppelganger, please give her my number. I could sure use a couple of extra hands...

On another note, in retrospect, perhaps I should have taken home ec in High School instead of shop!

Combining two of my favourite things...

...photography and pets.

There is nothing better than a sliver of late afternoon winter sunshine as far as I'm concerned for candid pet photos.

This is Simon the Simian lounging in the kitchen.

Simon is a special fellow - a stray we adopted in 2000 when we found him cowering on our back patio in a horrific summer thunderstorm.

He has the most incredible green eyes and a genuinely sweet personality and on top of that, he's very photogenic!

Today I had the most wonderful surprise.

I had to come in to work long before the sun came up and I was feeling pretty miserable about that since the one thing I love to do on my birthday is sleep in. Tough to do on a weekday, to be sure, but I would have been thrilled to roll out of bed at 8am. Alas, that was not to be today.

However, at 9:45 this morning, a delivery came to the door for me.

I long white box of a certain style that can only mean one thing...ROSES!! My DH sent me a dozen long-stem red roses for my birthday.

I've also had calls and visits from family and friends scattered over the course of the day and shortly, I will be going out with said DH for dinner at a surprise restaurant.

Yes, there. I said it. Today is my birthday. I'm officially 29 and holding strong. Just like I have been for the past 4 years.

I was talking with a co-worker late last week, while we were still in the grips of unseasonably mild temps, and I told her that we would have an ice storm next Wednesday (today). Of course, she thought I was off my rocker, but it's like death and taxes. Either on, or very close to my birthday, there is an ice storm every year.

Guess what we got on Monday. Yup. An ice storm. Although today was nice and sunny and milder than recent days, there was still a lot of ice everywhere to contend with. Frozen vehicles, icy sideroads, power crews still out fixing damaged lines. I hate to say I told you so. But, "I told you so!".

The other thing I've been doing recently is reflecting on past birthdays. There were a lot of great ones and a few not so great. One of the more memorable now is one that I was less than thrilled with at the time. I think I was about 13 or 14 and my birthday was on a weekday so I would have had to go to school. Well, I would have, had I been able to get out of the house.

We'd had an ice storm (naturally) the night before and not only were the buses cancelled, but we couldn't even get out of the house as the front door was frozen solid. This also meant that my mom wasn't able to get out to pick up the cake she'd ordered from the Orono Bakery for dinner that night.

That night for supper, I had caesar salad with a candle poked precariously in the middle of it for my birthday feast. Admittedly, I was less than impressed at the time, but I gotta give kudos to my mom who made do as best she could with what was on hand.

Thanks for the amazing memory, mom!

Not that I didn't already have enough on my plate right now, but I volunteered to design the logo for the NECC Specialy this summer.

The NECC (Norwegian Elkhound Club of Canada) hosts a specialty every other year and this is the second time I've done the logo for the event (although the first time it was for a regional club called ONE - Ontario Norwegian Elkhounders).

This is one of the elements I incorporated into the final image.

The executive asked for a logo that encompassed all of the events that the dogs would be competing in at the specialty; obedience, conformation and agility...AND they wanted one on a mountie's horse wearing a mounties hat!

Here's the final logo that will be printed on literature promoting the event, t-shirts, mugs, etc...

A certain special someone is celebrating a milestone event today...



40 Isn't So Bad!

1. Getting old is now chick. The rustic look is in.
2. Remember, the tea kettle still whistles at you.
3. You'll still get a little action when your prune juice starts working.
4. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
5. Senility is a good thing. You're always meeting new friends.
6. You're now somewhere between the Young and the Restless and the Old and the Senseless.
7. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
8. You can now quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
9. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
10. Wrinkles are just antique smiles. You're very valuable.
11. At your age, you've seen it all, done it all and heard it all. Luckily you can't remember most of it.
12. Just because you're getting older that doesn't mean you have to grow up.
13. One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about whatever it was you forgot.
14. Look on the bright side. At least wrinkles don't hurt. Unless you trip over them!
15. Middle age is all the rage.
16. Age isn't important unless you're cheese or wine.
17. You're aged to perfection!
18. At least it is a hill and not a mountain.
19. Hang in there, retirement is only 25 years away!
20. Finally things will start clicking for you. . . your back, neck, elbows, knees.
21. Now you start thinking about the hereafter... you go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what am I here after!
22. Forty is not old – if you’re a California Redwood.
23. Now it's early to bed, early to rise, 'til you get so old you have to do otherwise.
24. You don't need to avoid temptation. It now avoids you.
25. You don't have to worry about the police telling you to slow down now, just the doctor.
26. You're just 18 with 22 years experience.
27. Age doesn't matter. It's ugly you have to watch out for.
28. You're entering the metallic years: Silver in your hair, gold in your teeth and lead in your bottom.
29. Don't worry about senility. When it hits you, you won't know it.
30. Age is a matter of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
31. Hang on! You've reached that age when everything either wears out, spreads out or falls out.
32. Old age and treachery easily beat out youth and vigor any day.
33. You're not old. You just became a classic.
34. Your belt may not buckle but your knees will.
35. Your actions now creak louder than words.
36. Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
37. No more health foods. You now need all the preservatives you can get.
38. Be nice to your kids. They pick your nursing home.
39. You're not old. You're vintage!
40. You are only old once -- enjoy it!

Many happy returns of the day, H!

Love ya!
P.

Synchronized swimming...swan style!

I only wish I'd been on the other bank for this...

Gettin' me an edumacashun...



Well, not in the literary sense, at least. I took a 4 hour photography course today to learn more advanced features on my new toy, a Canon digital Rebel XTi. Learned lots of new things, however, BEFORE going to the class, I met Jane at our local nature haunt, Lynde Shores, for a brief foray and took some of these.

It couldn't have been a nicer day today (considering that it's the "middle" of winter!) for being outside taking photos...unless perhaps we could have had a bit more sun. It was a bit overcast earlier this morning.

I wish it hadn't have been dark when the class finished. I would have loved to go back and take more photos and incorporate some of what I had just learned.

I think I will wait until we actually have some snow before I go again. Even though it is the 7th of January today, there were lots of tiny green things growing - fiddle head ferns, grasses, moss, etc...but overall the area is still very drab and brown. The last two times I've been look very much the same, even though we found another entrance into the area that has paths that take you right to the shores of Lake Ontario this time, which was a pleasant discovery.

January 1, 2007 - above is our annual photo of Quinn (almost 4yrs), Monty (8 3/4yrs) & Thor (8 1/2yrs).

More holiday updates to come. I'm still in relax mode which means I'm not allowed to be here at the computer!! Hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday season!

A bird in the hand...

... is worth dozens in the bush!

Last Sunday I finally found a few spare minutes and met my dear friend Jane at Lynde Shores Conservation Area for a couple of hours or so of photography. I bought a Canon Rebel XTi almost a month ago now and haven't really had a chance to try it out until then.

The camera is phenominal, as you can see from the photos.

I was shocked to see that there were several robins in the woods - very unusal this late in the year although since talking with some other people "in the know" this past week, it seems it has been too mild for them to get the urge to migrate, so they may stay right through now.

This is a downey woodpecker, I believe.

Here's Jane and a wee friend. There were so many Chickadee's in the woods that if you so much as stood still, they were on you looking for food - and I don't think it had anything to do with being hungry. These little suckers were plenty plump already!

Check out the top of his hat :o)

I'm hoping we get some snow soon. I'd like to go back and get some winter photos early one morning.

Off now to try to finish my Christmas shopping!!

This was sooooo me last week!

In an attempt to get out of the blue funk I've been in lately, I thought I'd try one of these inane surveys that people email around from time to time. This one's a little different than most I've seen previously.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Good God it's way too early to be awake.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
About $100 US that I still haven't put back in the safe from my trip to the US in early Nov.
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
Four
4. Favorite planet?
Have to go with Earth since I've nothing else to compare it to and Pluto isn't a planet anymore.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile telephone?
Probably Dianna. She's the only one who calls me all the time and claims I never answer my phone.
6. What is your favourite ring tone on your mobile telephone?
It's playing a funky version of "Jingle Bells" right now that I'm kinda liking... but I think it will get annoying really soon. Otherwise, the "Mission:Impossible" theme kind of suites my life.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Deep purple snuggle sweater with a big collar.
8. Do you "label" yourself?
Yes, but I'm not wearing it today. ;oP
9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing?
Dr. Scholes.
10. Bright or dark room?
Medium. Lots of wood paneling (way too much, in fact)
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I don't know the person who took it before me.
12. What does your watch look like?
Like a gold and silver Andrew Fezza watch.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Trying to get my mind to shut down so I could go to sleep.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Would have been from 411 Directory assistance since I don't use text messaging.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
No idea, but there's a Mac's within spitting distance. Ask me where the nearest Tim Horton's is though. That'll get you an interesting answer.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Crap.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My husband.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My dh. ;oP
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
One kind but a lot of it. Advil for a headache that was off the charts.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Zero. Gone digital and never lookin' back.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
17
22. Your worst enemy?
Time
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Blue carpet. Not kidding. I goofed processing house photos the other day and instead of deleting a photo meant to separate pictures of two houses, I clicked "Set as Desktop Background", so now I have a photo of dark blue carpet and my camera strap as my desktop background and it's been like that for 3 days now...
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Good bye.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
No question...the cash.
26. Do you like someone?
Yes.
27. The last song you listened to?
It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas
28. What time of day were you born?
Not sure.
29. What's your favorite number?
2
30. Where did you live in 1987?
Pontypool, Ontario.
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes, several people, actually.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Doubtful.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
At work. I watched everything on CityTV online with my boss.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
I don't use vending machines as a general rule.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Most of the time, but I can be quite a b*tch at times, too.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Ankle or shoulder blade.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Spanish
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Did that already.
39. Are you touchy feely?
Not really.
40. What's your life motto?

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Out in public: watch, wedding ring, glasses
42. What's your favorite town/city?
Cobourg, but I also really, REALLY enjoyed San Diego, CA.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Oil change
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Last Christmas
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Actually, I can! And then some...
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
In jail!
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Not very.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
To go to an opera in Buffalo. Black carwash pants and a really (really) sparkley green/gold top/jacket (I'm still finding sparkles EVERYWHERE).
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Actually no. And that's unusual. Oh...wait...I just got a twinge in my knee. Par for the course.
50. Have you been burned by love?
Yep, but I got even.

Once upon a time...

... I was young and carefree.

Once upon a time...

I was intelligent, pretty & thin... I was confident. The world was mine for the taking.

Once upon a time...

... I knew without a doubt what I would be when I grew up.

The reality...

...I am approaching middle-age and lost.

Birthday Blessings to my dearest friend, Lori
(and her sister Christie, too)!!

Birthday Wishes For My Friend

On your birthday,

I wish for you the fulfillment

of all your fondest dreams.

I hope that for every candle

on your cake

you get a wonderful surprise.

I wish for you that

whatever you want most in life,

it comes to you,

just the way you imagined it,

or better.

I hope you get as much pleasure

from our friendship as I do.

I wish we were sisters,

so I could have known you

from the beginning.

I look forward to

enjoying our friendship

for many more of your birthdays.

I'm so glad you were born,

because you brighten my life

and fill it with joy.

Happy Birthday!

Where were you?

25 years ago...

- 25 years ago I was 7 years old. I lived in a little village called Pontypool and I went to Grandview School. I would have been in grade 1 or 2 that year. I certainly was in Brownies. Likely was already taking piano lessons, skating lessons, swimming lessons, etc... My parents had a pool - summers were great. I had lots of friends. I had My Little Ponies and Cabbage Patch dolls (3 of them!) and I lived for Saturday morning cartoons (remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday morning??). Life was simple, good & carefree.

20 years ago...

- 20 years ago I was 12 years old. I vividly remember proclaiming to my parents on a drive to Peterborough in my dad's grey truck with the maroon seats that I was going to be a teenager soon and how excited the prospect of that made me feel (I also remember that I wasn't wearing a seatbelt at the time - but I don't think it was such a huge deal then like it is now). I played baseball in the summer at the park on a team and I was pretty good at it (having a much older brother was a big influence on that). I was a bean pole with long dark brown hair - not as dark as when I got older, but much darker than the sandy blonde it was when I was young. I was in grade 6. I was in Girl Guides by then. I was on every sports team and club I could possibly fit in. I had even managed to be the only girl in a group of 4 who was on the Gause Math team (I've still never figured that one out since I despise math and really wasn't all that good at it, or so I thought). I somehow managed to be smart AND cool at the same time. No small feat. I had already had several boyfriends and crushes. My brother had already threatened one of them with bodily harm (ah, brotherly love, ain't it grand?). I was a packrat and a slob. I was hard on my parents, especially my mom. A lot of what I said to her usually started or ended with "Make me".

15 years ago...

- 15 years ago I was 17. My brother had married (and divorced) the previous year. I had dumped my highschool sweetheart (to my parents delight) and I was already dating the man who would eventually become my husband. I was in grade 12 at Weldon. No longer into sports as much as I was in public school. I was fast tracking through highschool and would finish 5 years of course material in 4. I was the only girl in my shop classes (wood/metal/drafting) which I took all through highschool. I was Victoria County Female Technical Student of the Year 2 years in a row. I had entered several juried art competitions (Buckhorn and Fenlon to name a couple) and was winning awards with my work. I was chosen one of 5 students to paint a mural in the school. All were on the second floor. Mine was at the top of the main stairs and the first you saw when you came up stairs. I was also student liaison with the town's local art gallery. I was working as a waitress at a restaurant on Hwy 35 called Kimberly's. My larger group of friends from public school had become a smaller tighter group that lasted through highschool and for a few very special ones to this day.

10 years ago...

- 10 years ago I was 22 and a new bride as well as a new home owner. I had been to college and decided it didn't agree with me. Although I had had many jobs, I had just started my first full time 40 hr week minimum job (a job I still hold today). I still had my first, and to this day still favourite, car, the 1986 Cougar that my grandfather had bought for me to drive back and forth to college. I got 3 cats of my very own and lost the cat that had grown up with me at the age of 18. I had become friends with Lori who over the years has come to be like a sister to me.

5 years ago...

- 5 years ago I was 27 years old. The Twin Towers fell that year and had a profound effect on the world. Life and responsibility had beaten some of the fun out of me. I no longer cared to dance, hadn't been to a bar in years. I had lost touch with people who were once important to me. I had my first PT Cruiser and the insanity that is Cruzin' was just starting to afflict me.

1 year ago...

- 1 year ago I was 31 and feeling a little more at peace with myself. I had a bit of a personal crisis about turning 30 because I wasn't happy with where I was in my life (interestingly enough, as I look back on this, things are pretty much the same today as they were then). In the last 5 years I had lost both of my grandparents. Losing my grandfather was especially difficult for me. It was sudden and as I was very close to him, I took it very hard. I had found my birth mother and half sister and was surprised to learn that they live very close to me (within BLOCKS). I was in a minor car accident and was charged with careless driving. It was a snowy night in December and the car I slid into was backing up and I got the lion's share of the damage (minor though it is). My parents were down for dinner the weekend of the accident and I couldn't tell them what had happened. I KNEW without a doubt I wasn't at fault but I was embarrassed that it had happened at all. As I type this, I am still waiting to go to trial to fight the charge. 14 months later and still counting... There's so much more to that story, but it's already been covered before - I see no point in rehashing it again.

1 week ago...

- 1 week ago today I was wrapping up a long week of work and looking forward to a "Crop til you Drop" event in Kendal on Saturday from 9am-midnight. The week preceding had been so busy that I hadn't packed anything so Friday was a late night sorting, figuring out what I was going to work on and packing it all up.

Yesterday

- Yesterday I worked from 8am to 7pm. Went home to feed my animals. Darryl and I had our routine Thursday night feed of pasta and watched our TV shows and I fell into bed at 11:30pm. I am so tired.

And where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

I'll have to think about that one. For now, it's late and I'm tired. It's been a long week. Fodder for another post perhaps.

You be the judge -

Here's the San Francisco one I mentioned.

These guys rock!

There have been a lot of people who have tried to copy this, some more successfully than others (there's one in San Francisco that's almost equally impressive). I'm not a huge fan of the wreaths in the windows (looks too much like eyes to me) but as for the rest of it - WOW.

You say it's your birthday....it's my birthday too!

Well, actually it's not my birthday yet, but yesterday was my friend Chris' 31st!

Chris and I go waaaay back... I think I have photos of us together at 5 or 6 years old. Our mom's are best friends so we grew up together. Although we grew apart in our teens, we've recently reconnected and I couldn't be more thrilled.

Chris, I am so proud of who you have become and continue to evolve into. I never realized how much I missed you until you came back into my life. Even though our moms are pretty good at keeping us both up to date on each other's important news, it's not the same as getting the info first hand. :o)

I hope you had a fantastic birthday and I wish you continued success in the year to come!

xxoo

Nighty night. Sleep tight...

Boy am I ever behind this year. Thanks in part to a more hectic than usual fall market at work, plans every weekend and a winter beater that was in and out of the shop for more than 3 weeks, I am almost a month late putting the PT away for the winter.

On the bonus side, even though I'm behind, we still haven't had any snow to speak of, so all is good.

Aside from a little waxing and still having to put the car cover on, this is the last I will see it until April.

C'mon spring!!

No, this isn't one of my dogs...but it could be! I could see either one of them (or a blend of both) pulling off this stunt!